Myths that Keep You Broke #19

Myth #19 - You Can’t Have It All:   

In Myth #18, I talked about how you speak matters, especially to yourself. This idea really goes hand-in-hand with the idea that many times we think we live in an either/or world. Either/or thinking says that if you have wealth, maybe you have to sacrifice happiness. However the wealthy know that although money doesn’t buy happiness, you can be both wealthy and happy.

It all starts with how you frame the question. If you ask yourself “Why can’t I buy a new car?” you will spend hours thinking of all of the ways in which you may not be able to succeed.

Likely your answer will be something like, “Well, I can’t have a new car because I need to pay for Sarah’s braces and replant the lawn this year.” Now if you ask yourself the same question with the word how instead of why, you could have an entirely different conversation.

By asking yourself “How can I buy a new car,” you will be forced to brainstorm solutions. This is what the wealthy do. They frame questions to find solutions.

I recently watched a comedy special on Netflix with Ellen DeGeneres. It was fun and enjoyable, and she made many jokes about her success and wealth. But there was a serious moment that explained to me exactly why Ellen is both successful and wealthy.

Ellen told a story about how when she was only twenty-one-years-old, her girlfriend died in a car accident. It was her first serious relationship. After her death, Ellen found herself living alone in a flea-infested basement apartment. Everything felt lost.

Yet despite this tragedy, Ellen didn’t focus on why this happened or why she moved to L.A. in the first place. She focused on how she could still realize her dreams. It was at this moment that she wrote her first comedy act. From there she kept focusing on the how; how to move on, how to realize her dreams, and how to get out of that sad basement apartment.

This is certainly an extreme example, but we all know how wonderful Ellen’s life turned out. So in many ways, it is a perfect example of the fact that anyone can have it all. You can face even the worst challenges, and rather than asking why, if you ask how, you will be forced to find solutions.

When I was fifty-years-old, twice divorced and the single parent of two children, I had no savings, and  the future looked bleak. I could have asked, “Why are these things happening to me?” The answers would have been, “You don’t work hard enough, or you’re not smart enough, or you don’t deserve it.”

Instead, my coach reminded me to ask the right questions; “What can you do to become wealthy? Where can you find happiness?”

With these questions, the right answers showed up. Today I have an amazing wife of twenty years, financial wealth and prosperity, and I am grateful, fulfilled and happy.

You really can have it all! What do you want?

To Your Prosperity,