Episode 88: Create an Unstoppable Mindset with Nina Cooke – Transcript

Wealth On Any Income Podcast Episode 88

Rennie Gabriel  00:10
Hi folks, and welcome to Episode 88 of the Wealth On Any Income Podcast. This is where we talk about money tips, techniques, attitudes, information, and provide inspiration around your business and money. I'm your host, Rennie Gabriel. In past episodes, we spoke about how to understand the numbers from your business, how to measure the level of pleasure based on where you spend your money, how to track your money in 5 - 10 seconds, what determines how close you are to Complete Financial Choice®, how to run your business without being in your business, and how to buy your first apartment building. Last week, we had Michelle Mazur, who supports business owners to craft their powerful, captivating message in 3 words. And today, we have as our guest, Nina Cooke, Nina helps six and seven figure service-based business experts to create an unstoppable mindset so they can build authority and boost their profit. Nina has worked with hundreds of established entrepreneurs, helping them to increase their income by up to 800%. She's the co-author of Renegade Mindset - A Financial Advisors Guide To A Peak Performance Mindset. She's the host of the Entrepreneur's Inner Game Podcast, and has interviewed world-class entrepreneurs and best-selling authors. As a mindset coach, she helped one of my friends break through to a seven-figure income and fixed some of my faulty thinking too. Nina, welcome to the Wealth On Any Income Podcast.

Nina Cooke  01:52
Thank you, Rennie. It's great to be here.

Rennie Gabriel  01:54
Well, let's get right to it with some questions. I've kind of covered a little bit of what you do with helping six and seven figure service-based experts, but tell me why you do it.

Nina Cooke  02:06
I do it because I love doing it. And I don't like seeing entrepreneurs suffer and struggle when they don't have to, when there is an easier way of being an entrepreneur. So this is something that I discovered for myself, I struggled big time building my first online business. I started back in 2005. And it was a personal shopping business. I had . . . it was a fairly good business. It became nation-wide quite quickly. I had a really great team of personal shoppers and makeup artists serving my clients. I did all the sales and marketing. But, Rennie, I was so scared of life that I hid. I was scared to be visible to put myself out there. And so I found a way of finding clients, which meant I didn't have to be visible in any way, shape, or form. And it was actually our good friend, Rob Goyette, who was my business coach back then - long time ago. And he helped me to find all my clients through Google ads. And that way, I didn't have to do any webinars, I didn't have to post anything, I didn't have to give any talks, I just hid behind my desk, and found clients. 

Nina Cooke  03:25
And it was when I went to a really big corporate gig, which I'd booked, and it was a big accountancy firm, the center of London, and a lovely floor-to-ceiling windows, big plants everywhere, canapé, champagne. And I took my team along, a team of 20 experts to service the clients. And once everything was set up, I thought, this is my opportunity to go and talk to these high-level women, because it was a big pamper evening for the top executives, I should go and talk to them, book another gig with them. And I started walking towards these two women who are dressed in very sharp suits, and as I started walking towards them I suddenly thought, 'You can't go and talk to them, because if you go and talk to them, they're going to realize that you're a fraud. And they're going to think you're not very good at what you do, and why have they booked anything with you? And they'll see how flawed you are. So don't go and show them that side of yourself.' So I stopped in my tracks and did a sharp left turn. And I thought, 'Where can I hide for the rest of the evening?' And I found some dark offices which were empty. And I went inside one of these offices and I just sat there for the rest of the evening to avoid talking to people. And on the way home - I sat on a train, it was a cold November night and I could see my reflection in the mirror - and I just looked at myself and I thought, 'You can't carry on like this. You have got to sort this out. You've got to find a way of being able to be confident with people and speak to them as an equal.' And anyway, that started my long exploration of personal development and a way to fix myself. I did a lot trainings, read a lot of books, became certified in different modalities. And they were just a temporary fix. Nothing really gave me that permanent shift in my mindset that I was looking for. And it was only when someone sent me an email, and they said, 'You should read this because you're interested in this stuff'. And that led me to a coach who, who said to me, 'The only reason you feel so incompetent and so unworthy is because you believe your limiting beliefs about yourself.' And he showed me how to dissolve them permanently by finding the root cause of why I felt so undeserving of the good things in life, why I made life so difficult for myself, why I had to hide away. And it was only once I dissolved all of that faulty thinking, and then planted new positive beliefs in my subconscious, that I was able to be visible and be seen, and to be able to tell people what I did, and become, I like to think, you know, something of an authority in my field. But none of that would have happened without fixing my mindset. And that's why I do what I do - to help other people to stop wasting their time, beating themselves up, holding themselves back, playing small. I help them to dissolve all of that thinking that keeps them from, you know, being who they could truly be. And that's the work that I do,

Rennie Gabriel  06:50
Yes, and I've had the opportunity to experience it firsthand, because I remember the faulty thinking that I had when you and I first spoke, and in a matter of, I don't know, a very short time, you turned it all around. And you know, I remember that conversation. So thank you, Nina.

Nina Cooke  07:10
Well, it was a pleasure. And it's just so interesting, isn't it, because we are so good at putting ourselves down and feeling our limits and acting on those limits, where someone else could come along and say, 'But wow, you've got all of this stuff going on'. And we can't see it because we're so used to having this old conditioned thinking playing like a loop in our heads. And that is what stops so many entrepreneurs from creating a very successful thriving business.

Rennie Gabriel  07:41
It's like what one of my mentors said, 'Fish can't see the water that they're swimming in'. And well, it's funny, I just realized I wanted to talk, you know, because I donate 100% of the profits from the work I do, and books and programs to charity, when I said the word water, it reminded me, Oh, let's talk about a charity that's important to you.

Nina Cooke  08:05
A charity that's important to me is . . . I donate to three charities every month. Water Aid is a very important charity, because everyone should have access to clean water. Every single person in the world should have access to it, and it's a travesty of injustice that some people have to scoop up dirty, filthy water to drink. And they have to give it to their children as well. So that's the charity that's very close to our heart. It's the basic that we should all have access to.

Rennie Gabriel  08:39
Thank you. Yes. And that's an important part of the people that I have on the program is how are they creating an impact beyond the business that they do? So let's also talk about who your target markets are. Who are, I mean, yes, service-based experts. I mean, what does that mean?

Nina Cooke  08:56
That means anyone who is offering a service where they are selling, if it feels like they're selling themselves. If we're selling a physical product, it can feel very easy - it can feel easier to sell that because you don't feel that it's you who's going to be working face-to-face with a client. So anyone who has to sell a service where they are the person who delivers that service, in the form of consulting or coaching, they're the people who I find can have big mindset blocks about their own value, about how much they can charge for their services, about the type of client they're allowing themselves to work with. And they feel that... they feel overwhelmed and unfocused because they're getting in their own way with all these limiting stories they have. So I love to work with service-based entrepreneurs. And I also love working with financial advisors as well, because again, financial advisors, they feel they're selling themselves when they're talking to clients. And they have all the same challenges around lack of focus, overwhelm, procrastination, charging higher fees, all of that stuff is going on. So it doesn't really matter what niche they're in, the same challenges keep coming up again and again. 

Rennie Gabriel  10:23
That makes sense. What would you say was your biggest failure, whether personal or business in terms of what you've created?

Nina Cooke  10:34
My biggest failure was the limits I put on myself in terms of how big, again, I felt I was allowed to play in life. How much I was allowed to shine. And I grew up in a household where my oldest sister was - had to always be - the center of attention. And my role in the family was to serve her and make sure she was always the center of attention, which meant that I kept myself very much in the background. And so I grew up really feeling that I mustn't take up too much space in the world. And actually, I always felt that I needed to be small. And this was something I carried from my childhood into my adult life. And it's funny, because many of the limiting beliefs we form are formed in early childhood. 

Rennie Gabriel  11:33

Nina Cooke  11:34
Up to about the age of six or seven, because we're not questioning anything at that stage. And it's interesting, because those beliefs that we form as a child, as some of them may be - may help to keep us safe and protect us - we carry them into our adult lives and we make our decisions based on those beliefs we formed as children.

Rennie Gabriel  11:55

Nina Cooke  11:55
So that's really wonky thinking isn't it, when you look at it in that way?

Rennie Gabriel  12:00

Nina Cooke  12:01
I was carrying all of that. It's not safe to be noticed. If I'm noticed, I'm going to get into trouble. So that dictated the whole way I ran my business, and the whole way I ran my life. I wouldn't speak up in groups. I didn't feel that my opinion had any value for anyone. I felt I wasn't worth talking to. And it was only really when I had children that I really started to question how I was showing up in life - because looking at my children, when they were young, as you know, they're just so full of natural self confidence. They play big. They want to be noticed. They love, you know, having attention heaped upon them. And I really felt that, although I was pretty good at sometimes faking confidence, I didn't have any real confidence. And I wanted to be a good role model for my children. You know, like you, family's everything. It's, you know, it comes before everything for me. And I wanted to have real self-confidence. I wanted to feel authentic around it. So this was my, if you were like, I think it's my awakening, and then that time, and that, you know, that professional situation I shared with you earlier, at that big corporate event, all of that came together around that same time. And I thought, I really need to do something about it. And I really felt that I couldn't change myself. Even though I wanted to try, I felt deep down, this is who I am, this is how I'm built. There's not much I can do about it. I might be able to make an incremental change and improvement. But really, I'm stuck with this. I'm going to have to figure out how to get through life feeling like this. So as you can imagine, I was blown away, when I dissolved these limiting beliefs about not being worthy, not being deserving, about it's scary to play a big game. And you know, I'm flawed, I'm a loser. All of it. I had heaps of these. And then, when that all fell away, I was able to come out and start believing I can take up some more space in the world. I am able to take up as much space as anyone else. But I think one of the most interesting things that happened for me was, I started to feel like an equal to people. Whereas before I almost felt that people in authority - because my sister felt like someone who's an authority, all my life, growing up - I felt that people in authority were better than me. And I would I feel really scared to talk to them because they would think, 'You're so inferior, why would I speak to you?' And being able to feel like an equal to people has been truly liberating.

Rennie Gabriel  14:51
And I think one of the things that you said earlier was, this isn't what you created all by yourself. You had a coach who started to bring these things out for you.

Nina Cooke  15:02
I did. I don't think I would have been able to discover the core root of my unworthiness by myself. If, because we have so many blind spots, and it's difficult for us sometimes to dig deep enough to find the answer inside of us. And I needed help to do that. Once I found out I thought, well, it's so obvious. Of course, this is what's going on. Of course, I need to identify all of these beliefs, and then dissolve them and then plant some healthy beliefs in my subconscious. So then I can start thinking naturally, in a different way, in a way that serves me, and I can start dreaming bigger. That's what it is. It's about dreaming bigger, and believing that more is possible for us. It's like, you know, you walk into a warehouse and you see all these goodies on all the shelves. And the really great stuff is at the top. And you go in and you say the person behind the counter says, 'What would you like?', and you think, 'Oh, I'd like that big thing up there.' And then you think, 'Oh, no, I'm not allowed to have that. I mustn't have that. That's asking for too much. So I'll just settle for this down here on the bottom shelf.' It's almost like we put all these barriers in our own way. And then we think, well, the world has pulled these barriers up. But the world hasn't put barriers up. We've done it all ourselves. The good news is if we put up the barriers then we can remove them as well. But sometimes we have to be shown how to remove them.

Rennie Gabriel  16:31
Exactly. There's someone that you and I both know, who worked with you. And what I'm going to ask you to do is give me an example of that person as a case study on what happened when they dissolved some of their limiting beliefs.

Nina Cooke  16:48
Yes, I believe I know who you're talking about, I won't mention his name. But he's a coach of a very, very established successful coach. And when we first worked together, and on the outside, he has a very successful business, you know, lovely family life, etc. And he said, I have this belief, I have this challenge, that I don't feel that I'm able to charge as much as I want. And he was very aware that he had his price - he was not at the level that he knew it could be because of the value he was providing. And one of the beliefs that we found in our very first call was the belief, I don't matter. That three little words, I don't matter, how could that possibly be impacting his business? But what it was doing because he believed he didn't matter, he was putting other people's needs first, rather than looking at what he wants to get out of his business. Once he dissolved that belief, he told me the following month, his income rose by 20%. And the month after that it rose by another big percentage. He could not believe the difference because he was suddenly showing up in a much more powerful way to his clients in his business. And he did push prices up because he mattered. And what he wanted mattered was still serving his clients at a high level. 

Rennie Gabriel  18:10

Nina Cooke  18:10
And then last year, or maybe the year before, he hired me for the year to work with him because he wants to break through the seven-figure barrier. Now, he is an action taker. He's organized. But he said to me when we started working together, at that time, that he would be doing well, and then he'd start cruising a little bit and try to take his foot off the accelerator. And he knew that was costing him dearly. And so we found some more... we found his unproductive pattern of behavior, which was to take his foot off the pedal. And we found the limiting beliefs underneath that challenge that was keeping that challenge in place. And we started dissolving his beliefs one by one, until that pattern collapsed. And he told me that he was doing an email campaign to his list. And he had good response, he brought in some sales. And then he was sitting there thinking, I could probably send one more email out, just as a last email. He said before our work together, he would have said, 'Doesn't matter, I've got enough sales, I won't bother'. He did send out another email, because he felt there was no resistance to doing it. It was easy to do it. And it brought him into several $1,000 worth of extra sales. So he felt now that he was putting his foot on the accelerator even when things were going well and sustaining that high level of success.

Rennie Gabriel  19:36
Yeah, and I remember him telling me he broke through the seven-figure mark.

Nina Cooke  19:41
He did. We worked together from January to December. And in the January of the following year, he emailed me and he said, 'We've done it. I've gotten to the seven-figure barrier.' And I was over the moon for him because, as you and I know, he's one of the nicest guys in the business.

Rennie Gabriel  19:57
Oh yeah, he's a wonderful person. 

Nina Cooke  19:59
He is.

Rennie Gabriel  20:01
Now again, I'm quite sure my listeners will want to know more, and is there a valuable, free resource that you can direct people to that could support them?

Nina Cooke  20:12
Absolutely. A lot of people say to me, 'I don't know how to find my limiting beliefs, you know, how do I find them?' So I put together a resource for them, which is called the Millionaire Mindset Scorecard. And on the scorecard, there are a list of limiting beliefs around having more success and about having more money. It's really easy. All you do is go through the beliefs one by one, score yourself to find out which powerful beliefs you have around having more money and success. So the scorecard does all the work for you, and there's plenty of analysis about what your score is telling you, and also what action you could start to take to remove those limiting beliefs and start planting new, healthy, powerful beliefs around success and money.

Rennie Gabriel  20:54
Great, well, I'm gonna put the link to that scorecard in the show notes, so people can get that and move forward. Now, is there a question that I should have asked you that would give some additional great value?

Nina Cooke  21:11
What is the one thing that your listeners can start doing to find out how they're getting in their own way?

Rennie Gabriel  21:23
And the answer would be?

Nina Cooke  21:25
The answer would be to become very aware of your thinking. Because when you become aware of your thinking, you'll see that you actually have the same thoughts for most of the day, and your thoughts are just going around in a loop. So to find out how you're getting in your own way, a really great exercise is to think about taking an action in your business that you keep putting off, you keep procrastinating over, and for many people it's around marketing themselves, or doing outreach. And when you're resisting, taking that action - which you know that if you were to take it, could be very significant in your business - to sit down and write down the thoughts, all the resistant thoughts you have about taking that action. And then get a highlighter pen and start highlighting your beliefs. Like, no one's going to be interested in hearing from me. No one's going to pay me that much money. I've got nothing interesting to say. I don't have enough value, I'm a fraud. All those things. And start highlighting them. And that is the first step to really get into the root cause of why you don't have as much success as you want.

Rennie Gabriel  22:36
Beautiful. Thank you. So, Nina, first I want to thank you for being on the podcast today. 

Nina Cooke  22:43
It's a pleasure.

Rennie Gabriel  22:44
Thank you, Nina. And to my listeners, thank you for tuning in. Next week, we're going to have Rob Goyette. He supports coaches to grow their business in so many ways, from laser coaching concepts to short-form automated webinars. You can listen to the Wealth On Any Income Podcast on your favorite platform. And please rate, review and subscribe. And if you'd like to know how books, movies and Society programs you to be poor, and what the cure is, then log on to wealthonanyincome.com/TEDx. You'll hear my TEDx talk and can request a free 27-page Roadmap to Complete Financial Choice®, and receive a weekly email with tips, techniques, or inspiration around your business or money. And if you'd like to see how you can increase your wealth, and donate to the causes that touch your heart, please check out our affordable program, Wealth with Purpose, on the wealthonanyincome.com website. Again, that's, wealthonanyincome.com. Until next week, be prosperous. Bye bye for now.

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