Episode 51: Navigating Life After Divorce with Tanya Hood – Transcript

Wealth On Any Income Podcast Episode 51 image

Rennie Gabriel  00:09
Hi, folks, welcome to Episode 51 of the Wealth On Any Income Podcast. This is where we talk about money tips, techniques, attitudes, information and provide inspiration. I'm your host, Rennie Gabriel. In past episodes, we spoke about how to build an income and expense report, how to measure the level of pleasure based on where you spend your money, how to track your money in 5 - 10 seconds, what to look for on a net worth statement to see how close you are to Complete Financial Choice®. And last week, we had as our guest Dov Gordon, with a terrific networking group. Today we have as our guest, Tanya Hood. Tanya is an author, coach, and speaker. She provides a simple solution for divorcees to navigate life after divorce by giving them the tools and strategies to build a firmer foundation to reclaim who they are. Her life changing solutions give her clients insight into their core strengths, the ability to eliminate conflict, and break the barriers that hinder them from reaching their next level. Tanya, welcome to the Wealth On Any Income Podcast.

Tanya Hood  01:21
Thank you for having me.

Rennie Gabriel  01:23
Great. Well, let's get right to some questions. Tell me more about what you do, and why you do it.

Tanya Hood  01:31
So I'll begin with a little bit of information regarding the book because there's some people that may not have actually read the book or seen the book. It's called, Red Alert.

Rennie Gabriel  01:40
Yeah, I didn't say anything about you being an author. Oh, and I'm sorry, I said you were an author. But I didn't have the title of the book.

Tanya Hood  01:49
It's not a problem. But that book is a book that was birthed from some lessons I had to learn in the aftermath of my divorce. And one of the major things that happens, unfortunately, when you go from a two income household, to a one income household, is financial devastation. And that's what happened to me. And I didn't want anyone else to walk through that journey. So I had to learn a lot of things fast. And one of those things quickly was how to get our credit score back together, because it went from a 726, no 736, down to a 526. They treat you different when you have a score that drops that much.

Rennie Gabriel  02:31
Yes, and and so funny, because I've gone through the exact same experience. I'm divorced twice, had to rebuild. In one of my, in one situation, my credit score also dropped. I don't know if it hit the fives, but it was definitely in the bottom of the sixes. Now it's over eight.

Tanya Hood  02:52
And that's the beautiful thing that I do now. I help people rebuild and restore their credit. And also give them some other financial foundational pieces like putting together a will, a power of attorney, and a trust. Because too many people don't often think about those things as a financial legacy. But this is something I think that you shared with your, your audience before.

Rennie Gabriel  03:13
Very likely. I've done 50 episodes. I forget what I did talk about. Well, something else I want to ask about because I donate 100% of the profits from the work I do to the charity, Shelter To Soldier. Tell me if there is a charity that you support and what they do.

Tanya Hood  03:32
A charity that I support is Sickle Cell Disease. Because my youngest son has sickle cell. And Howard University is a university that did a lot of research associated with helping to gain more insight about what it means to get healthier and to manage living with that disease. As a matter of fact, he just got released from the hospital today from another crisis. So . . .

Rennie Gabriel  03:57
My heart goes out to you. Well, you know what I'm going to do, I'm going to put a link to Howard University's Sickle Cell Center in the show notes. Okay?

Tanya Hood  04:07
Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

Rennie Gabriel  04:09
You're welcome. So your target market, obviously are divorcees, because that's what I said. But in terms of your business, or personally, what would you say your biggest failure was?

Tanya Hood  04:22
Well, the thing about failures, I think about them a lot differently. I was taught that a failure is not really you failing, it's just something else you got to learn. So I've gone through a lot of learning opportunities. The major one I went through was how do you raise two children in an urban environment? Because being black in America is not easy. And raising sons in this environment is not easy either. So I had to quickly learn how to establish a financial foundation so that I can build a legacy so that my children and I can be stable.

Rennie Gabriel  04:59
Yeah, I agree with you from everything I read or see on the television, it is not easy. And so I first I want to applaud you for what you're accomplishing.

Tanya Hood  05:12
Thank you.

Rennie Gabriel  05:13
You're welcome. What would you say would be your biggest insight you've had? Whether it was from the divorce or raising the boys? Is it two boys?

Tanya Hood  05:23
It's two sons. Yes.

Rennie Gabriel  05:24
Okay.

Tanya Hood  05:26
So my greatest insight was the number of people that were inspired by my book to start making some adjustments in their lives. We don't often think about our stories being a synonymous story for others. And I'm certain that you never thought that your divorce was something that you will build upon and grow great things from. I didn't think of that either with mine. And so from my divorce, just wanting to share with someone else the hurdles that I've already navigated to give them a platform to get to that next level, people reached out to me. And that's where the courses were birthed, and the coaching was birthed, and gaining and sharing more insight about financial well-being and passing on a legacy.

Rennie Gabriel  06:10
Yeah, it is, in my belief, a true expression that you teach what it is you most want to learn.

Tanya Hood  06:15
Right.

Rennie Gabriel  06:16
And it is so great to have someone who's walked the path before you to guide you. What are some of the typical feelings your prospects experience?

Tanya Hood  06:27
Well, after you come out of a divorce, a lot of people walk through an element of being shamed because they felt they should have known more. But often times it stems from us not really have enough clarity of who we are. So one of the major things I teach in a course that I have called, Navigating Life After Divorce, is to gain more clarity about who you are. Because if I knew what my core strengths were, I would have done things different.

Rennie Gabriel  06:54
That makes so much sense. Is what you said, what were you would call one of the common mistakes that your prospects make?

Tanya Hood  07:04
Not knowing who they are. If you aren't clear of who you are, you're not really certain what you're looking for. And too often, we walk into relationships, just thinking, Oh, you're great, or you're cute, but we don't pay attention to the fact that our core values and our behaviors show up wherever we are. But if you are not clear about what that is, you're not really certain about what that is for the person that you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with either. So often you end up with two people conflicting, because neither one of you paid enough attention to what your behaviors and your values were to show up in.

Rennie Gabriel  07:39
Would you also . . . would you also say maybe not reaching out early for support could be a mistake as well?

Tanya Hood  07:49
Exactly. Too often people try to go it alone, because that shame of not knowing what situation you were in to begin with, you don't know how to reach out early enough to get the financial support you need, or the emotional support you need. Because both of those are required in order for you to move forward. Because as you more likely have shared with your audience, people spend their money to make them happy instead of doing things that will grow their future.

Rennie Gabriel  08:19
Yes, that's correct. It's a lot of, and I don't care how much money you spend, it will not fill an empty hole. Besides how you've turned your own life around, do you have a case study or a story example of what one of your clients have done?

Tanya Hood  08:39
Actually, I can share with you a recent class I just ended. There was one lady. She shared with me that she really wished she had met me years ago, because some of the basics that I walked through - because it's a five-week course that I share information about getting more clarity of who you are, and using that insight to get more clarity of those around you. And then I tie in the financial piece associated with that. She had no idea that how she naturally flowed in her core strengths was also something that she was overdoing that showed up as a weakness. And with some tweaks about getting clarity of your behavior, she then got the chance to see how that was affecting her financially. Because she was using that core strength as a way for her. And I'll show you a little bit about the core strengths. One of those things, especially for this client, is being supportive. When you are supportive of other individuals, it is phenomenal. But if you overdo it, then you can become smothering and sometimes for individuals feel like you're just taking up all the space in a relationship. And that can be a turnoff. And on top of that because she's so supportive, she used that strength in a negative manner to try to buy those around her. So she was going through financial breakdown and emotional breakdown, because it just was not working.

Rennie Gabriel  10:06
Yes. Yeah, I have seen situations where parents are overly supportive to their children to the point where the children can't make it on their own. And it's to the detriment of the parents who've given so much, they're no longer in a secure financial situation.

Tanya Hood  10:25
Exactly. It's a vicious cycle that I'm really glad that you have a podcast that you're sharing information about. And I'm really glad I've stepped outside of my personal comfort zone. To start sharing more of the lessons that I have to give.

Rennie Gabriel  10:41
Well, Tanya, you're doing terrific.

Tanya Hood  10:44
Thank you.

Rennie Gabriel  10:44
Let me ask you this, is there a valuable free resource that you can direct people to that will further help them solve these issues?

Tanya Hood  10:54
Yes, I actually give away a free chapter of my book. In that first chapter, I give a quick insight of who I am, and some of the main struggles that I went through in going through the relationship moment, not having enough clarity of who I am. So that free chapter is something that I offer.

Rennie Gabriel  11:13
Terrific. And I will put a link to that free chapter also, in the show notes, besides the link to Howard University. And is there a question that I should have asked you, that would give great value to my listening audience? And obviously provide the answer as well.

Tanya Hood  11:36
One of the things that I think people should pay enough attention to is, what steps can I truly take, that one thing that I can take away today, to get to my best self? That is reach out to a mentor, a coach, and someone that can give you insight and be a guide to you, because the stumbling blocks, we can learn that way. But it is much easier and much safer if you have someone that is already aware of the journey that you're taking. So they can help you get there.

Rennie Gabriel  12:10
I agree so much with what you're saying, because where we have made mistakes, they can be our tremendous learning experience. And when we have a mentor, we don't have to make as many of them.

Tanya Hood  12:24
Exactly.

Rennie Gabriel  12:24
So, Tanya, I want to thank you for being on the show.

Tanya Hood  12:29
Thank you for having me.

Rennie Gabriel  12:30
You're welcome. And to my listeners, thank you for tuning in. You can listen to the Wealth On Any Income Podcast on your favorite platform. And please rate, review and subscribe. If you'd like to know how books, movies, and society programs you to be poor, and what the cure is, then log on to wealthonanyincome.com/TEDx. You'll hear my TEDx talk and can request a free 27-page Roadmap to Complete Financial Choice® and receive a weekly email with tips, techniques, or inspiration around your business or money. Again, that's wealthonanyincome.com/TEDx. Next week, our guest will be Bill Heinrich, and we'll be talking about how you can condense a full webinar into six minutes, and everyone has enough time to watch a six-minute webinar. Until next week, be prosperous. Bye bye for now.

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